Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Can you describe what it's like to live in a town known for Harley Davidson motorcycles?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

After 6 new cases over the weekend, North Dakota has nation's highest measles rate - InForum

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

Carlos Alcaraz roars all the way back to win the French Open again - The Washington Post

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Life from oceans to savannas explained with one single rule - Phys.org

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can count

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

While you sleep, these bugs throw a party on your face - East Idaho News

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Who was the actor least deserving of an Academy Award?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A rare shark is seeking refuge in Miami's Biscayne Bay. Here's why scientists just spent 8 years tracking it - BBC Wildlife Magazine

I can read

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand how hurricane paths work

What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How should you handle a situation where your friend tells you they like someone who also likes you? Should you tell them or continue as normal?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

President Trump kicked Zelensky out of the White House. Is it over for a deal?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: